we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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