planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
