summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
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I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
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I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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