I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Operation Purity has been aborted
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No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
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I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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