oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The power of my boobs compel you
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
