He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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