Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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