sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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