All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
