he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize