Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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