Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
