i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize