that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
