It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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