It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize