"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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