So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Actions speak louder than pants.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
