So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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