I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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