My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
