I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
