What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
