youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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