He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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