Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
