Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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