Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
