xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
