yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
