Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
