I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I cut my penus on the lid.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
