last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
