So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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