there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
