turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize