he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize