He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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