awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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