I'm so fucking centered right now
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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