I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
