im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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