I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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