I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
