I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
