That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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