And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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