what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
