Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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