I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
