More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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