apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize