i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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