My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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