you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize