My sheets look like a crime scene.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
