Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
